Things To Do During Quarantine, or How Not To Lose Your F*cking Mind

15 min read

I remember the times when I was a kid, and in moments of extreme boredom I’d ask my mom:

“Maaahm, I’m bored, what should I do?” (I didn’t have internet back then)

And mom would sarcastically answer:

“Grab your ass and jump”

To which I’d roll my eyes and commence the process of grabbing my ass and jumping on the bed, all while singing some random song from Power Rangers or some other stuff I’ve seen on the TV.

Every time I’m bored (which is rare nowadays, there’s never “enough time”) I remember the words my mom used to say and then I laugh to myself, imagining how ridiculous I would look if I grabbed my ass and jumped right now…

Because holy moly COVID-19 2020 it’s mother-flipping quarantine! And I’m sure you’re having lots of “fun” these days, travelling from your bed to the sofa and all the way to the fridge and back to your sofa… Phew, sweating out here, so much exercise, I can’t even…

Or you’re browsing the web in your unwashed pajamas and writing angry comments on Facebook about how the 5G antennas conspiracy is f*cking dumb as hell (which it is).

Or you’re watching all the shows on Netflix which are even remotely related to pandemics and viruses because WHY THE F*CK NOT, RIGHT?

Mind: Damn, I’m so paranoid about this virus, I don’t wanna hear anymore negative news…

Also Mind: WOAH, history of Spanish flu in 1918? Contagion? How to survive a pandemic? YES GIMME ALL THAT STUFF I’LL WATCH IT RIGHT NOW LET ME BINGE WATCH THE SH*T OUT OF IT.
Why do we do this? Are we masochists? Are all of us actually a bunch of kung-fu monks that like getting hit in the balls because we want to “build resistance”?

I don’t know, but it’s kind of amusing. I think it comes from our inability to stay bored. We’d rather do anything, literally anything, but be bored. It’s the way our weird brains are structured.

Which reminds me of a quote from a 17th century mathematician,

“All of man’s misfortune comes from one thing, which is not knowing how to sit quietly in a room.” — Blaise Pascal

It’s true, this avoidance of boredom is part of us, and sometimes it eats at us, it makes us go mad, but it’s also the driving force behind all human progress and creativity. Simply put, without boredom, and without us trying to avoid it, we wouldn’t be where we are now as a species. If the caveman wasn’t bored out of his mind, he wouldn’t have tried to learn to sharpen a rock or a stick, and subsequently he wouldn’t have been able to build weapons in order to fight the predators and get out of his cave and conquer the world. If some random dude didn’t start rubbing two sticks against each other, we wouldn’t have learned to start a fire. These are extremely simplified pictures in your head I’m trying to create, but you get the general idea — No boredom, no creativity; no creativity, no human development; no human development, no Facebook (?). Yeah, you get it.

OK, you say, “I get it, all this boredom is normal and good and bla bla bla, but here I am staring at my left foot for the last half an hour and I can’t get my head around as to how I got to this point in the first place and why the f*ck am I talking to myself AM I CRAZY OH MAH GAWD?!”

To which I’d respond, “B*tch sit down, be humble. Sit down, be humble!” or something along the lines…

Look, my point is, you’re not the only one, we’re all in this together. Yes, many people have it worse than you, and many people have it better than you. But I’d argue that those people that have it better, don’t really have it much better right now because the whole world is pretty much at a halt, so yes indeed you should “sit down, be humble”.

And please, for the love of God, stop dramatizing these times and equating them to being in the middle of a war! Yes, I’ve heard people say that! I get it, the world economy is screwed, the upcoming recession and all that good stuff, but world war? Come on…this is nowhere near being in the trenches, soaked in mud, living among rats, getting shot by artillery, barely moving an inch forward for years at a time like soldiers in World War 1! You may have lost your job, you may have gained some weight, and you may have watched too many shows on Netflix lately, but no…you’re not in the middle of a war; so please stop being ridiculous and don’t be that guy or girl who says stuff like that.

Now that we’re done moralizing each other (sorry, I love you really), let’s get back to the topic.

What’s the topic?

TOP 10 FUN THINGS TO DO DURING QUARANTINE!!!

No, stop. I’m joking. Please don’t.

Actually, you know what, why not? What, Andrei, you’re too cool and hipster to be mainstream? Pfft.

TOP 10 THINGS TO DO DURING QUARANTINE:

1. Try reading your old Facebook posts from a few years back — it’s great entertainment and cringe material, I promise.

Looking at your dumb past self never gets old, and it should really humble you down in case you think you’re the sh*t. Plus laughing at yourself is a healthy activity, if you don’t overdo it to the point where you hate yourself, of course.

Here’s some embarrassing stuff I’ve written on Facebook in the last few years:

“Wheather” with two letters of “h”? Sux? Can’t you spell “sucks” you moron? And besides, no one cares about your thoughts on the weather, 2010 Andrei, so shut the f*ck up!

Yes, we get it 2010 Andrei, you’re an Arsenal fan, who cares? You’re going to write the score of every single football game so no one misses it? You know, there’s such a thing called THE INTERNET where everyone can check the score for themselves. (P.S. COYG)

Oh how cute, Andrei trying to be funny. Too bad it is as original as writing a blog in 2020 (?)

Quoting AC/DC lyrics, huh? Okay, this is alright, I’ll give you that, 2010 Andrei.

How about…nothing? No? OK.

Word, this is timeless. Respect gained. Oh wait, it’s 2011 Andrei, you improved!

2014 Andrei trying to be a comedian, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh boohoo! 2016 Andrei is tired from work. Wow, so original! I bet you’re the only one working these days. Just shut up, you cry-baby! (Look, I get that the post is ironic but still, it’s annoying and I want to roast myself)

You’re right, Marius, 2016 Andrei was insane. (I still kind of am?)

OK, this is better comedy and I kinda like it. Good job, 2016 Andrei. You’re still a weirdo though.

OK, you know what, even this is a joke, you are insane. I think I’m done with seeing my past. Thanks.

2. Cut out the superficial 3-minute-reads or pop-corn type of media: read long-form articles and follow people that are much more intelligent than you.

Most of the stuff you read on the internet, especially on social media, is just noise. (probably including this article If I’m honest). The news are 95% negative and don’t teach you anything, the cute animal videos and memes and all that good stuff is fun to watch once in a while, but most of us don’t know how to or when to say stop, so we end up browsing our Facebook feed for the last 2 hours even though we didn’t actually plan to. It’s not entirely our fault, social platforms are built to exploit our psychology and hook us so that we get exposed to more advertisements.

But I know many of you would ask now “Everyone around me does it, what’s the big deal?” Maybe it’s not a big deal, maybe I’m wrong. Yet I beg to differ, I think the answer to this question depends on what you want out of life. If you want only pleasure, then fine, go with the flow and don’t think too much about how what you consume online is affecting your mental health. Do whatever your emotions are drawn to, maybe this kind of life will work for you, and to be honest, I’m a bit jealous because I’ve tried that and I know my brain isn’t built like that.

When I procrastinate too much and live only for pleasure, I lose respect for myself. The feeling sucks, yet this feeling made me go beyond my mediocre past self (not to say that I’m extraordinary now, but I am a better man than before for sure). Still, I’m in no way a role-model, and I ain’t that intelligent either. But I’m working on it.

Here’s a few sources I would recommend that hit a good balance between entertainment and actual substance:

Academy of Ideas — video essays on philosophy, psychology, self-improvement, and really anything related to the human condition. The minimalism of this project stands out and I really dig it.

Aeon — a digital magazine in which different authors write about philosophy, science, psychology, society, and culture.

Brain Pickings — a blog by Maria Popova with articles that cover literature, art, philosophy, and “the various other tentacles of human thought and feeling.”

Wait But Why — a long-form read type of blog with some humor and very intelligent insights. Created by Tim Urban.

Mark Manson — one of the bloggers and writers that inspired me a few years ago to start writing my own thoughts and challenge my default views on life. Plus he’s funny. So entertainment + learning = yay!

Zat Rana — an intelligent young writer that always chooses topics I’m actually interested about: they’re all about nuances of the human condition.

*Bonus: you can also look at beautiful digital art made by extremely talented people. It may inspire you. Here’s a few examples: Dimitar Marinski, Tianhua Xu, Wangjie Li, Brad Wright.

3. Read a goddamn book.

Yes, do it. Reading a (good) book will challenge you and improve your thinking. It will also make you realize you’re actually way dumber than you think you are. So brace yourself.

No, not “maybe another time”, it’s quarantine! You’ve (probably) never had so much free time as an adult, so there’s no excuse (unless you have kids, to which I say, stay strong my brotha’ or sista’).

To keep this short, here’s a list of books that I’ve recently read and liked:

Slaughterhouse-Five (Kurt Vonnegut)
Stand Firm: Resisting the Self-Improvement Craze (Svend Brinkmann)
Animal Farm (George Orwell)
The Plague (Albert Camus)
Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World (Cal Newport)
Poetics (Aristotle)
Hegel: A Very Short Introduction (Peter Singer)

Also, follow me on goodreads, I usually try to write reviews for every book I read: https://www.goodreads.com/avasilachi

4. Call (not text) some friend you haven’t talked to in a while. For no particular reason. He or she will appreciate it, trust me.

We all text nowadays, and that’s understandable. However, we’re missing out on the live feedback of a conversation, with all its weirdness and asymmetry and non-verbal cues. Obviously, seeing a person face to face is not always possible, so giving him or her a call is still better than texting. At least you can hear their voice and have a normal conversation where you can say dumb shit and laugh about it, instead of filtering and over-analyzing everything you say through text.

Texting is convenient, but it’s communication stripped to the bone — it’s easier and there’s less commitment, but you don’t really build strong relationships with it, in my opinion.

5. Dedicate some time to a hobby you’ve abandoned or never had time for. You never know, maybe it will re-ignite something new in you, maybe not. It’s worth a try.

I’ve recently returned to playing a little bit on my bass guitar which I’ve frankly abandoned about 4 years ago. I still suck at it, but damn is it fun.

Maybe you always wanted to paint, or write, or start a vlog. Whatever it is, at least give it a try and see if you actually like doing it or you just like the idea of it in your head. We all have fantasies that we like to keep as fantasies because that’s easy and it doesn’t hurt — you don’t have to face the possibility that you’ll suck if you never try anything. You just blame it on circumstances and “not enough time” and bla bla bla. I’ve been there and done that. What I learned is that if you really want to do something, you will find time for it.

6. Start a video-chat (messenger or Zoom) with a bunch of friends and laugh your asses off.

I often tend to self-isolate, because I’m an introvert and because I like solitude. But as the popular saying goes, “no man is and island” — you need other people, and other people need you. I don’t care how much of an introvert you are or if you “hate” people. We are social creatures, so be social, or at least try to, you bastard! (that’s a note to self too)

And what is a greater way to be social during quarantine than storming a Zoom group call and shitting on the toilet in front of them? (I’m still laughing every time I see that video)

Plus, as I’ve mentioned in a previous article, when I quoted a Harvard study that was started over 80 years ago and tracked multiple families from different backgrounds — the greatest factor that determines our sense of happiness is by far our relationships with other people. So stop pretending you’re a lonely genius or a miserable poop — make someone laugh, it’s one of the best feelings in the world!

7. Note to self: learn to cook properly, you lazy bastard!

This one will be short. Yes, Andrei, learn to cook better food you lazy f*ck!

8. Research some random niche topic and write an article about it, even if you’re bad at writing.

It’s scientifically proven that writing is therapeutic and it releases stress and organizes your thoughts and worries into a more coherent form. And if you’re unsure about which topic you should write, just pick a random one that at least somewhat interests you.

Say, you can try writing about some character from a novel and how you can relate or can’t relate to him; like that old asthmatic from “The Plague” who moved chickpeas from one bowl to another to pass the time during the plague, or how the protagonist from Dostoyevsky’s “Notes from Underground” is a pathetic poop yet you can relate to him at times which in turn makes you very uncomfortable.

Or you could write about your grandparents, and what you learned from them. Or you could do some research and write about the industrial era of the 19th century and how it affected people’s psyches, if you’re into that.

You can literally write about anything, and I guarantee you you will find some audience, even if it’s just your lovely grandma. The point is in you writing your thoughts down, trust me, it makes you see yourself in a different light. It can be uncomfortable, but that’s good! It means you’re detaching from your illusionary self and actually start developing your own thoughts.

Try it, you’ll thank me later.

9. Take a break from social media for a few days, go for long walks (or runs) at night when the city is empty, you’ll be surprised how weird and refreshing it feels.

It’s quarantine and my gym is closed, which is very very sad, okay? Nowadays all I’m lifting is my spoon and my computer mouse…

So I’ve started running outside more often, usually late at night, because then there’s barely any people on the street. And man, is it different. I felt like the guy from “28 Days Later” in a desolated city trying to find some love. I also ran on some streets I’ve never been on before, which almost made me feel like Christopher Columbus.

And I also spent less time on Facebook, which was a good change for a while. But then Zuckerberg sucked me back in and here I am writing lame articles and sharing it on Facebook. Ugh!

10. It’s okay to be sad.

Despite the illusion, most people aren’t as happy as they seem on social media, so please do yourself a favor and seal this into your brain: most social media posts are part of an echo chamber and a fake world where everyone is posting their highlights, which by the way is normal behavior, we all do it more or less.

No, those people aren’t evil, it’s just human nature — we all wanna look good and seem better than we actually are. But you have to understand that it’s an illusion, most of our lives are not that exciting and that’s fine! It makes the actual exciting moments so much better, because we have something to compare them to. So don’t bring yourself down if you feel shitty. Many people — even those you think of as successful — felt shitty in their lives.

Franz Kafka was depressed and anxious most of his life, and mostly unknown during his time — now he’s considered as one of the most unique voices in world literature. He even has his own term that describes the feeling of alienation and being stuck in a bureaucratic hell: “Kafkaesque”

He had a troubled relationship with his father and even wrote a whole book that was addressed to his father, and it’s believed his dad never read it. It is clear that he channeled his frustrations into his writing — he wrote about the absurdity and misery of bureaucracy, the alienation from his father and the feeling of not being loved. He also exercised to distract his anxious mind: he was a good swimmer, enjoyed hiking in the mountains, and was a talented horseman.

The father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, was often depressed, and it’s widely considered that he developed his interest in the human psyche because of his own mental troubles. So he dealt with his depression by self-analyzing, which in turn created the whole field of psychoanalysis (and some weird theories like the “Oedipus complex” where you wanna f*ck your own mom, but that’s another story).

Abraham Lincoln was often depressed. When he was 32, he wrote, “I am now the most miserable man living.” His law partner William Herndon observed about him, “Gloom and sadness were his predominant state,” and “His melancholy dripped from him as he walked.” How did he fight it? He used humor: “If it were not for these stories — jokes — jests I should die; they give vent — they are the vents of my moods and gloom.”

Bryan Cranston, the actor who played Walter White in Breaking Bad, had a troubled childhood. In his 2016 memoir he wrote: “[My father] chose not to be with us or see us or be a father. My mother chose to become an alcoholic and drown her sorrows and sadness and resentment. She was like a ghost of herself. And no one ever explained why he left.”

He also had a (common) fear of feeling embarrassed in front of other people. In one of his interview he recalls the time when he was 11 and was auditioning for his first acting role and flubbed a line:

“When I was 11-years-old I felt abject embarrassment. Years later, in retrospect, I realized, wow, I’d mistakenly misplaced one word and it made people crack up with tremendous laughter — what if I did that on purpose?” And that, he said, was how he learned comedy. But, he also said, “I wouldn’t have wanted that.” If someone had asked him, “Would you like to be embarrassed and learn a lesson?” his response would’ve been, “No thanks.”

Moral of the article? Don’t be afraid to embarrass yourself. The worst that’s going to happen is you’ll make someone laugh.
That’s it, folks! I love you. Now go f*ck yourselves!